October is almost done for another year, not that it feels like it here. Aside from one dip in temperature, it has been record breaking warm here. Oklahoma weather. The cold is supposed to be right around the corner, but only about two weeks ago did the trees start making with noticeable color change and just days ago the oak out back begin blanketing the yard with saddle tan colored leaves. I caught myself standing in the back door, watching them come down. I’m not sure how long I stood there, but I know after the last couple of months I’ve needed that sort of quiet peace.
You see, aside from the warm weather, this season has come in like other autumns before, bombarded with haste and fresh accountabilities and rapid change. Perhaps the additional hectic this year is due to Mercury’s retrograde, the lunar and solar eclipses, or some other astrological superstition, if you are so inclined. Perhaps there is some great symbolism in a reaping of the life sucklings, a cutting away of the frivolous come autumn. More likely it is just one of those years. But atop an abundance of photo shoots, writing, working, planning and a wedding, life seemed locked in a state of rapid large scale change which pushed my flexibility to the nth. Most days over the last month seemed to involve stuffing ten pounds of business into a five pound day, leaving me exhausted with no desire to do anything beyond my quiet home.
So, you’ll have to forgive the week long silence, but I didn’t want to create posts. In fairness, I didn’t want to do anything. Stress and busyness tear at me more so than most people, my introverted, simplicity inclined nature making me less capable than your average person of some ridiculous balancing act with regard to a bombardment of what I consider fluff. I thought of posting a wedding entry, but not wanting to so much as hear the word wedding after all the hullabaloo that wasn’t an option. I considered another simple Eureka photo post, but didn’t even want to edit. I considered taking a ride last weekend, somewhere nearby for a quick, simple post, but the idea of movement nauseated me, and besides, I have a backlog of Eureka posts waiting. When instead of riding I spent last Saturday in the garden working, I took the time to write a recipe and garden winterizing themed entry rough draft, but scraped it when it swirled and I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Any energy, any creativity, any urge for movement burned up in under the heat of constant anxiety ridden comings and goings, nothing felt complete and most noise and nonessentials grated my nerves. Instead of taking in much more than breathing, I needed to disconnect, so I did. For a week I maintained the day to day requirements for work and otherwise sat still, in quiet and introspection allowing for the mental sorting of all that had been consumed in two overflowing months.
By Friday, armed with regained calm and perspective, I was ready to go again and off we ventured, back into the Ozarks for a family weekend to ourselves and an opportunity to take the outdoor wedding photos steady rain prevented two weeks ago. While I am a bit Eureka-ed out for the time being, I will never not love going home and took advantage of being back in a place where fall is real and visible all around, a place safe and familiar, spending an entire morning hiking, photographing, and taking in the peace and quiet. By the time this weekend rolled around I had reached a certain point of post stress numbness and the smell of cool damp earth and warm morning sunshine, crisp acrid autumn leaves and that intangible pre-winter temperature scent, the rustle of swirling whirling falling leaves in a light breezy gusts and the sound of movement in the brush and soft bird serenades in the canopy were the ideal antidote for the residual numbness. I feel retuned and back to humming with the frequency I need to be. It was then I remembered, for all its unforgiving shoving, I do love autumn most of all for always trimming my life back to the basic.